Yahoo娱乐圈|卓韵芝专访自认已out中女离婚后曾不敢相信爱情:离婚就是结局,所以我是失败

Yahoo娱乐圈|卓韵芝专访自认已out中女离婚后曾不敢相信爱情:离婚就是结局,所以我是失败

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Yahoo娱乐圈|卓韵芝专访自认已out中女离婚后曾不敢相信爱情:离婚就是结局,所以我是失败
Yahoo娱乐圈|卓韵芝专访自认已out中女离婚后曾不敢相信爱情:离婚就是结局,所以我是失败

Yahoo 娱乐圈

一段时间没见的卓韵芝,今年暑假带来自导自演独脚戏《芝姐灾难大全》。这些年,她的经历很多,仿佛去到冰岛旅行一次爆发,接近生死更让她回顾人生:「想起人生不同阶段的事、想起香港、想起自己的成长,七情六欲贪嗔痴,齐晒! 」专访中,卓韵芝仍然落落大方,提到上年离婚,她详尽剖白心情:「那几年像被偷走了,那时我定性离婚就是结局,所以我是失败。」讲离婚、谈爱情观、自认是个已out的中女……在卓韵芝的眼里,没什么不能讲,没什么不尽讲,可以预期,《芝姐灾难大全》有多好看。

跟卓韵芝对话,没什么不能讲,没什么不尽讲。

跟卓韵芝对话,没什么不能讲,没什么不尽讲。

一次旅行历生死,思考何谓「婚姻」

之所以有独脚戏《芝姐灾难大全》,全因卓韵芝的一次旅行经历:「由于充满娱乐性,所以不会顺利,这是一个严重的bad trip!去冰岛,每一件事都不似预期,一定会反省人生。大家会听到好多猎奇式的事,在冰川火滚呀,又会想起人生不同阶段的事、想起香港、想起自己的成长,七情六欲贪嗔痴,齐晒!」听上去幽默,但经历却很沉重:「其实涉及了一个生命的离去,所以这个旅程都让我跟生死很接近,这些时候就会反省人生过错。」讲到这里,阿芝表示不过份剧透,但分享这几年的经历,她却很大方。

上年4月,卓韵芝宣布与从事电影美术的梁子贤结束4年婚姻,经历了一年重整思绪,加上恶梦之旅让她思考人生,现在的她看「婚姻」是? 「如果平时拍拖的象征意义没这么大……始终有一纸婚书,它的象征意义是必需要大的!究竟这段婚姻,发生在人生这阶段、这岁数,象征了什么?而最终两个人决定离婚,我又应该学习到什么?」然后阿芝,以自己作例子。

上年卓韵芝宣布与梁子贤离婚。

上年卓韵芝宣布与梁子贤离婚。

与前夫从未戏剧化争吵,离婚后历遍悲喜怒:那几年像被偷走了

卓韵芝认为婚姻相当琐碎,每天充斥的都是小事:「在婚姻里有很多事不察觉,生活是什么?其实就是最琐碎的事:『你今晚几点返?』『我们去不去食自助餐?』『我们去不去旅行?』现在回想,其实就是婚姻的全部。有人会看婚姻好大、好戏剧化,但其实婚姻是两个人的相处,很多小事组成,我们给它一个名字叫婚姻,如果连这些细碎都不尊重,那整体这婚姻就不重要。」

以自己作例子的话,她以「平淡」来形容:「我首先会想起很多生活上的小事,我的记忆里,反而没有很戏剧化的事,因为我们两个都是好平和的人。尤其是他真的很平和,我也『发』不到什么事出来。我们没试过丢东西、大声说话、威胁对方、执东西走……其实我们几平淡。」虽然平淡,但决定了离婚后,情绪的袭来却令她意想不到:「到离开的时候,分开了几个阶段的感受。一开始时,我是好开心!『如果两个人开心,就不会拣离婚,这都是追求快乐的一步丫!我自由了!』到第二个阶段我就好嬲,『为何件事会搞成咁?为何没任何警报?两个人在自由恋爱中选择对方,到最后到失败,你叫我怎相信以后?』就进入悲天悯人的状态,five stages of grief(悲伤的五个阶段)都是真的。」

决定了离婚后,情绪的袭来令她意想不到。

决定了离婚后,情绪的袭来令她意想不到。

怀疑之后,阿芝进入了极度悲伤,因为她认定离婚就是终局:「之后我就进入好伤心的状态,那几年像被偷走了,那时我定性离婚就是结局,所以我是失败。现在回想,其实当中经历过的都是学习,但我那时觉得被偷走了5年!尤如拍了部戏唔上!」要经历完所有过程,她才明白真正道理:「最后才进入和解,再豁然开朗。婚姻本身就是生活小节,我们有享受小节吗?有。我们承诺时全心全意地爱?是。这一切都不会因所谓的结果而被抹煞。」

爱得轰烈从不掩饰,卓韵芝:做自己就有相关的人喜欢你

对于爱情,卓韵芝从不掩饰,曾跟圈中人高调拍拖,又曾公开出柜,即使在以前地下恋爱的年代。因此阿芝的恋情,都被冠以「轰烈」二字:「我一直都没有用圈中人的角度去看自己,我到现在都会拿着行李坐巴士过海。我小时候喜欢的偶像,都教识我很多事。当年我做叱咤903,我是听英伦摇滚的嘛,我喜欢的乐队都好坦率,今日宣布婚姻,听日写首歌讲好憎你。我喜欢的偶像、作家都好坦率,很简单,这些就是人中之龙!我不觉得自己如他们轰烈,玉婆(伊利沙伯泰莱)结过7次婚!我都没有生7个仔出来丫?」

她一直爱得坦率,从不掩饰。

她一直爱得坦率,从不掩饰。

对于「公众形象」这回事,她有自己一套看法,多年不变:「其实我看公众形象不是太重,做自己就有相关的人喜欢你。即使是少数,他们都是理解你的,我细个在商台出身已受到教育,做自己的重要性。」

卓韵芝:我已经out咗!如果我仲好in,大家应该担心

卓韵芝中三就加入商台,「芝See菇Bi 」是80后的集体回忆,到离开商台后仍一直做创作,绝对称得上创作界的前辈,问到会怕自己有out的一日吗?她立即道:「我已经out咗!现在的代沟越来越短,以前所谓3年一个代沟,我想现在是半年,你甩半年,你已经out。如果你问我,我已经out咗,如果我现在仲好in,大家应该担心,还在讲潮语、整Kim Kardashian最新个嘴,大家应该担心,正如我好担心麦当娜一样,你是麦当娜!为何要整到咁?我们应该全然地尊重自己。」就连现在进行的访问,都已算「老派约会」:「现在年轻的都不想做访问了,『为何要做访问?我出个post就得啦!』两种世界。我不认为时刻在浪顶是我的追求,感到踏实有内涵,才是我的追求。」

阿芝的「芝See菇Bi 」形象深入民心。

阿芝的「芝See菇Bi 」形象深入民心。

她直言,今次talk show,目标观众就是较成熟的一群:「那天我看Adele的访问她讲得几好,她说自己的粉丝已经有一定岁数,她必然先回应他们,如果只顾做给TikTok ,谁会回应这个年龄层?我也知道自己要回应什么人。既然我是个中女、我的生活是一个中女,就是这样面对啰。」

阿Sa豪言全女班齐开戏,卓韵芝将代大家追数

看看IG,都知道卓韵芝有班著名圈中好姊妹,郑秀文、梁咏琪、蔡卓妍、周励淇等通通都是老死,月前其中几个在导演会春茗聚头,阿Sa竟然豪言:「那天阿Sa、Stephy、无端端有个谈善言,她们揽住饮酒,阿Sa说:『卓韵芝过来!开部女性电影,不要只得男性主导!』但旁边就是郑保瑞!哈哈!我们成班都好坦诚,大家有不同性格,如果能将性格显现应该好有趣。我不知道观众想不想看,但这是个有趣的idea。我会问问阿Sa:『你记不记得你讲过?Yahoo叫你要找数!』哈哈!」希望阿Sa与阿芝能促成好事,力证中女有市场。

卓韵芝认为这个中女圈开戏应该很有趣。

卓韵芝认为这个中女圈开戏应该很有趣。

《芝姐灾难大全》

《芝姐灾难大全》

采访:何德

Hair Stylist:

Marvin@shhh_group

Venue:

Little Tai Hang

@littletaihang

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